Sports Notes, 1/28/07

-- Much was made, in the days just after the BEARS-Colts Super Bowl was set, of the fact the teams’ home states were also squaring off in basketball at the pro and college level. This would once and for all settle the athletic border war from now until the end of time!, they all said. Except for the fact that after the two-week lag no one will still give a crap.

-- With the signing of Cliff Floyd, the Cubs have filled a void that has plagued the team since the departure of Sammy Sosa: aging, problematic slugger in the “precipitous decline” stage of his career.

-- Even after the drubbing at Purdue, Illinois has a realistic shot at making the NCAA tournament after its nice upset of No. 23 Indiana on Tuesday. And if Bruce Weber takes this, um, shall we say, “lightly talented” team to the tourney, it will be his best coaching job in his four years at Illinois.

-- But more than anything, it’s just nice that the Illinois fans once again vigorously booing the Indiana coach for being the Indiana coach. It feels like my universe is back in balance.

-- Oh my golly! Lovie Smith is BLACK?!?!?

-- A.J. Pierzynski was on the Jerry Springer show this week. Yes, I know, it would be easy and quick to whip off a cheap crack about the water finally finding its level, but the thing is that he was on as a guest security guard, not a guest hillbilly. Which is understandable -- after the shot Michael Barret laid on him in June, you can’t blame him for not wanting to take another punch for a while.

-- Good-bye, Glendon Rusch. We’ll always remember … well, I seem to vaguely recall you pitched mostly OK for a team that didn’t quite make the playoffs in 2004, for whatever that’s worth.

-- World No. 2 player Maria Sharapova sure looked pretty while losing the Australian Open final 6-1, 6-2 to unseeded Serena Williams. Pretty silly, that is.

-- As further proof (as if I needed any) that Indianapolis simply cannot offer what Chicago can – on many levels – I submit the following: http://youtube.com/watch?v=sct9igr7wMA

BEARS 39, Saints 14: Now I Can Exhale

Right on schedule.

Like a CTA train after midnight, you can count on the BEARS to show up at the NFL Championship station about once every 20 years.

They did it this time by dispatching of the feel-good New Orleans Saints. They did it with a run-heavy offense, a return of the marauding defense, and just enough good Rex when it mattered.

They did it in BEAR weather, with chilly, slippery conditions that contributed to 4 New Orleans fumbles -- three of which were recovered by the BEARS -- and that teamed with the aggressive BEARS defense to turn Deuce McAllister into a non-factor.

They did it in a fashion that should have convinced the great unwashed, although it didn’t. Almost all the experts were predicting that the BEARS would have to score 30 points to win that game, and most of them figured they couldn’t do it. Well, they did. And then some. And it turned out that they didn’t even need to.

It’s true that the game was still in doubt after three quarters. The BEARS seemed to be rolling after heading out to a 16-0 lead, but the Saints struck back with an impressive Drew Brees drive and an 88-yard Reggie Bush touchdown scamper off a swing pass that was made possible by Danieal Manning torching himself.

At 16-14, and later at 18-14 after the defense forced a safety, the Saints were actually bottling up the BEARS running attack. But Rex Grossman, embattled, controversial Rex Grossman, would not let them lose. Having completed just 5 of 20 passes at that point, he went 4-for-4 on an 85-yard touchdown drive capped by a tumbling Bernard Berrian catch for the score. With a two-score lead a minute into the fourth quarter, the BEARS put the game away with easy scores off of turnovers.

The real genius of the run-heavy philosophy was evident after Jones’ personal 69-yard touchdown drive late in the second quarter. Drew Brees followed that by moving the Saints 73 yards into the end zone in 1:10 to make a game of it at 16-7. Although he did spend a fair amount of time on his back, Brees also threw for 354 yards, and if he had gotten a few more chances the BEARS might not have been in a position to run away with that game late.

As it was, thanks to the heavy use of the running game, the BEARS chewed up clock while holding the ball for 35 minutes and keeping it away from the Saints’ dangerous quarterback (as well as their own, for that matter).

The BEARS had better run the ball 50 times against Indianapolis and again keep the ball out of both quarterbacks’ hands. Although most experts and fans out there seem to see a team that can’t hang with Indy, I see one that can exploit a soft run defense to control the game the way they did against the Saints.

And underdogs step up in the big game every now and then. Remember, the dynastic Patriots were big underdogs when they won their first Super Bowl (XVI) -- come to think of it, against a dome team with a high-scoring offense (St. Louis). Then there was the biggest underdog of all, the Jets in Super Bowl III, who defeated the seemingly undefeatable … hmm, now what team was it that they played?

Sports Notes, 1/21/07

-- Kudos to the Oglala Sioux tribe for asking the University of Illinois to return its Chief Illiniwek attire. Perhaps this will finally end the laughably embarrassing “tradition” down at my alma mater.

-- Hey, Mike Ditka: You weren’t fooling anyone. We can understand if you don't want to say nice things about Michael McCaskey, but anyone who watches your playoff commentary on ESPN knows that not only do you want the BEARS to win more than any of us, but also that in your heart you’re still coaching them.

-- When the Bulls beat three-time NBA champion San Antonio on Monday, it was the Bulls’ first home win against the Spurs since December of 2000. Raise your hand if you’re surprised that streak wasn’t longer.

-- Now raise your other hand if you’re really surprised that the Bulls have beaten the Spurs in San Antonio in that time.

-- Now wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care!

-- Besides, Coach: Wasn't the Dave Wannstedt era punishment enough for McCaskey firing you?

-- Some cultures believe that every man dies a death befitting the life he led. Sammy Sosa’s career is certainly making them look prophetic.

BEARS 27, Seahawks 24, OT: We're Doing This The Fun Way, Not The Easy Way

The win is all that matters.

So what if the BEARS once had a seemingly Secretariat-like lead over the rest of the NFC that has now shrunk down to just a nose. There’s one length left in this race, and only one horse left to hold off.

I really don’t care if the BEARS rush the ball 55 times in the NFC championship and win 4-3 on two safeties. I also don’t care if they have to win it on an overtime field goal after giving up three touchdowns, although that bothers me a little more, which we’ll get to in a bit. I just care that they win, win, win.

The BEARS started out on Sunday looking like they were going with a philosophy of run the ball and don’t fuck up, which I highly applaud. The opening drive featured nine runs and three passes, and ended with a Thomas Jones touchdown. That’s exactly what you want to see when you’re planning to win a game on defense.

Overall, they ended up with a slightly higher mix of passes than runs. This looked like it was going to backfire when the BEARS took over the ball at midfield with two minutes left and went three-and-out on three pass plays and the shaky defense immediately gave up two quick first downs. But they found just enough of their old form to stymie Matt Hasselbeck at midfield at the end of the game, and again in overtime.

And for the day that Rex Grossman had, it’s hard to argue with a 50-50 pass-run mix. His numbers were certainly solid – 21 for 38 for 282 yards and a 68-yard touchdown strike to Bernard Berrian on the first play after a Seattle touchdown. In fact, his 282 yards were the most of any quarterback this weekend. He did have a fumble and an interception, but you could make an argument that neither one was primarily his fault.

For my money, the player of the game was Rasheed Davis, whose 4 catches for 84 yards included two huge third-and-10 conversions. That’s huge in terms of yardage and importance. The first was a 37-yard catch-and-run on the opening drive in which he took the ball away from Seatle defender Justin Babeneaux, and the second was a 30-yard pickup to set up the overtime field goal that Robbie Gould kicked a very, very, very long way.

Overall, the only thing I would have wanted to see more of out of the offense was Cedric Benson. Even with Jones’ two touchdown runs, I feel more confident in Benson to pick up tough yardage.

The defense was another story. If the BEARS had lost by failing to move the ball with two minutes left, it would have been easy to blame the offense. But when this team puts up 21 points in the first half, the offense has done its job and this team should win easily. Shaun Alexander exposed the normally staunch run defense, with seven carries of 10 or more yards. (Three of those came on the final drive of regulation and the first drive of overtime, causing concerned text messages to flutter back and forth across BEARS Nation.)

There were a couple plays in which Chris Harris had Alexander played perfectly, but Alexander ran through him as if he were a cardboard cutout of himself. Perhaps this is actually good news for next week’s game against the Saints and Reggie Bush and Deuce McAllister, who, though highly talented, are not as oversized as Alexander.

Bottom line, though, is that the BEARS are one win away from making this a successful season. It may turn out to be more difficult than it once appeared to hold off the best of the rest of the conference and get that last win, but it’s there for the taking. This team just needs to reach out to its championship past and collectively give the New Orleans Saints a Walter Payton-like stiffarm to beat them down.

Sports Notes, 1/14/067

-- You know that Michigan fans have already figured out a way to secretly believe that they truly deserve a shot at Florida.

-- Nice win for UIC on Wednesday, 73-67 over No. 12 Butler. It’s a good thing Illinois already beat the Flames, or the Illini might not be able to claim they’re the best college basketball team in the state.

-- Then again, considering that Northwestern took Wisconsin to the wire and Illinios is going to lose to Wisconsin by 20, it won’t be long until Illinois won’t be able to make that claim anyway.

-- The Blackhawks have lost five in a row and nine of their last 12. The Bulls trounced NBA bottom-feeder Memphis last night, but before that lost five of six, including a home loss to New Jersey in which they coughed up an 18-point lead. Can you West Town residents please look out your window and see if that giant black cloud over the United Center is showing any signs of moving along soon?

Sports Notes, 1/7/07

-- Watching the Seahawks’ fight their way back into the lead last night, it was clear that this team plans to play with the intensity of a defending conference champion until someone knocks them off their perch. You know, like the BEARS next week at Solider Field.

-- I think I finally figured out how Tony Romo got the third quarterback spot on the NFC All Pro team. It has to be for his stellar place-kick-holding abilities.

-- I-L-L … I-N-I-T.

-- The Illini haven’t lost by as many as 18 at home since … well, since the jokes about Assembly Hall looking like a UFO stranded on the plains were still funny.

-- Juan Uribe now says he will play for the White Sox in 2007 despite legal issues stemming from an October shooting in the Dominican Republic. Then again, he also said he had nothing to do with it. Good thing his numbskullery will only cost the Sox a .235 hitter.

-- Hey, look -- I did White Sox coverage!

-- Forget about the Ben Wallace angle. I still like seeing the Bulls beat the Pistons because of guys like Isiah Thomas and Bill Lambier.

-- Because the Big Ten went 2-0 straight up against the SEC in bowl games, one-loss Big Ten runner-up Michigan was in a great position to defend its claim that the Wolverines deserved to play in the title game more than one-loss SEC champ Florida. Until they gave up four second-half touchdowns to USC, anyway.

Gosh Darn It All, It's Called The "Hook And LADDER" Play Already

When I was a kid, there used to be a play in football called the “hook and ladder” play.

When I reached adulthood … there was still a play in football called the “hook and ladder” play. As far as I can tell, for decades before I arrived in this crazy world there was a play in football called the “hook and ladder”. At yet for some reason this year, for the very first time, prompted by the use of the aforementioned gambit by Boise State in the Fiesta Bowl, there is a small number of sportscasters who are very condescendingly referring to it as the “hook and lateral” play.

Their reasoning, which they will rather haughtily tell you, is that the play starts out with a hook pattern that is followed by a lateral pass. Indeed this is usually the case. The play typically involves an initial pass of around 25 yards, the distance being necessary to advance the action into the open field. Meanwhile, a secondary receiver is rushing upfield against the natural direction of the play. With the intricate timing of a well-choreographed ballet, the secondary receiver arrives to the rear of the initial one, who flips the ball back to him so that it can be advanced against the momentum of the defense.

The ball, therefore, moves directly forward, then swings back at an angle of roughly 60 degrees to the perpendicular axis of the initial movement while still maintaining its forward inertia – almost exactly like the behavior of a hook-and-ladder fire truck going around a turn. Now, consider the fact that the hook is not actually an integral part of this play. The hook pattern is virtually always used in practical application because it’s the safest initial route for this play, as it positions the initial receiver with his back to the defense to best protect the ball. But theoretically the hook-and-ladder movement could derive from an initial crossing or post pattern.

As a final piece of evidence, I have never in my entire life heard of a fire station anywhere on this planet with a “hook-and-lateral” truck, so that’s just stupid. Just because there are high school coaches out there with intellects so blunted they have to bastardize the phrase to fit the few meager things they can understand doesn't mean the rest of us should.

I know this shouldn’t bother me this much. But some of you who know me well (or just anyone reading this entry) know that I fancy myself a bit of a wordsmith. So please, just indulge me and refer to this play rightfully as the “hook and ladder” so that I won’t have to put my head through a sausage grinder. Your consideration is greatly appreciated.

Packers 26, BEARS 7: Moving Right Along ...

Whew. That was a crazy New Year’s Eve party. I’m just now getting around to catching up on the final BEARS debacle … er, game.

And my feeling is, big whoop. So Rex Grossman had a non-existent passer rating. So the BEARS got embarassed at home again. I’m not worried. And here’s why …

HANDICAPPING THE NFC PLAYOFFS

We’ll go in inverse order of the favorites, according to the odds at Bodog.com, because that’s Michael Shackleford’s favorite gambling site. (And if you’ve never checked out Michael Shackleford’s wizardofodds.com site, well, you really should, before your very next gambling activity.)

New York Giants (+1400): Oh please. They squeaked by a weak opponent to struggle to an 8-8 record to slide into the playoffs as quietly as a guy at a party trying not to be noticed when the beer-run hat is going around. Half their team is hurt, and the other half is untalented (except for Tiki Barber). The BEARS’ 18-point win over the Giants at their place isn’t looking so impressive anymore. This time Philly defends their home turf. Record vs. playoff teams: 2-6.

Dallas Cowboys (+800): This team is intriguing, as one of several NFC teams to hit a hot streak and cool off without establishing itself as the clear second favorite behind the BEARS. Tony Romo might pull a surprise against the very mediocre Seahawks, and he could torch the BEARS’ depleted secondary on his best day. Then again, he could throw even more picks than … well, than Rex Grossman, and the BEARS will definitely win any NFC game in which they win the turnover battle. One way or another, I don’t see the Cowboys going deep. Record vs. playoff teams: 2-4.

Seattle Seahawks (+700): Last year they made the Super Bowl by winning every single game they played at home, which included both of their playoff games. They actually didn’t have an impressive road win anywhere in their 14-2 record. This year they’re mediocre in Seattle as well, losing two games to sub-.500 teams and three overall. Plus they already lost by 31 at Soldier Field, where they would play the BEARS if the two should meet. Record vs. playoff teams: 1-3.

Philadelphia Eagles (+400): OK, so the five-game winning streak was impressive. Now check out the records of those teams: 8-8, 5-11, 8-8, 9-7, 7-9. And the one winning team they beat (Dallas) did not look impressive down the stretch, when the Eagles caught them. The Jeff Garcia magic will run out at some point, most likely against the Saints in the divisional playoffs. Record vs. playoff teams: 3-3.

New Orleans Saints (+250): Now we’re talking. This is legitimately a good team. It’s not necessarily a Super Bowl-caliber team, although Drew Brees sure is a Super Bowl-caliber quarterback and Reggie Bush will be a Super Bowl-caliber running back one day. If the BEARS had to play this team in the SuperDome I’m certain the Saints would be favored. However, they won’t. This game will be in Soldier Field on Jan. 21, and although I'm starting to wonder if the earth's orbit is inching ever closer to the sun, I'm still pretty certain it will actually be winter by then. Drew Brees will be stymied by the wind. Reggie Bush will be stymied by the snow. The BEARS will run the ball 57 times and win 4-3 on two safeties. Record vs. playoff teams: 3-1.

Chicago BEARS (+125): First of all, notice the number. I’m not crazy in picking the BEARS to win the conference. The bettors have installed them as the favorite at a price twice as high as the Saints. Record vs. playoff teams: 3-1.

That said, the BEARS will win. They will win with Rex Grossman, who should get the start. And I’m not just saying that because I win the Griese pool if he starts every game in the playoffs. And I’m not just saying that because Pam the Wolverine wins the pool if Griese starts any of the games the BEARS have left. Grossman should start, but he should also be on a very short leash to avoid losing the turnover battle, which is the only way the BEARS would lose to any of the other five teams at Soldier Field.

The BEARS will win, if they’re smart, by running the ball more than 40 times a game, with Cedric Benson getting more than half the carries. They will win by the defense giving them good field position. But they will win. Remember, the BEARS have not lost two games in a row this year, and they’re the only team on this list that can say that. (Only San Diego can say that in the AFC.)

Final analysis: BEARS in the Super Bowl!

HANDICAPPING THE AFC

If you’re still reading, I applaud you, and will reward you with just a quick comment on each team and each's record vs. playoff teams afterward in parenthesis …

Kansas City Chiefs: Fattened up against NFC West; went 5-7 againt AFC. Quick exit. (1-2)

N.Y. Jets: Plucky little bunch, but give up a few two many big plays to last in this pool. (1-3)

New England Patriots: Might go deep, but have been vulnerable too many times this year. (2-2)

Indianapolis Colts: I do believe they’ll play better than they did in the regular season, but they still have too many questions on defense. (4-1)

Baltimore Ravens: Man, these guys scare me. This is a one-loss team since their bye week in October. (3-0)

San Diego Chargers: And these guys haven’t lost at all since the Ravens’ bye week. Still, something in my gut tells me the Ravens and the experienced Steve McNair both go back to the Super Bowl. (2-2)