Gosh Darn It All, It's Called The "Hook And LADDER" Play Already

When I was a kid, there used to be a play in football called the “hook and ladder” play.

When I reached adulthood … there was still a play in football called the “hook and ladder” play. As far as I can tell, for decades before I arrived in this crazy world there was a play in football called the “hook and ladder”. At yet for some reason this year, for the very first time, prompted by the use of the aforementioned gambit by Boise State in the Fiesta Bowl, there is a small number of sportscasters who are very condescendingly referring to it as the “hook and lateral” play.

Their reasoning, which they will rather haughtily tell you, is that the play starts out with a hook pattern that is followed by a lateral pass. Indeed this is usually the case. The play typically involves an initial pass of around 25 yards, the distance being necessary to advance the action into the open field. Meanwhile, a secondary receiver is rushing upfield against the natural direction of the play. With the intricate timing of a well-choreographed ballet, the secondary receiver arrives to the rear of the initial one, who flips the ball back to him so that it can be advanced against the momentum of the defense.

The ball, therefore, moves directly forward, then swings back at an angle of roughly 60 degrees to the perpendicular axis of the initial movement while still maintaining its forward inertia – almost exactly like the behavior of a hook-and-ladder fire truck going around a turn. Now, consider the fact that the hook is not actually an integral part of this play. The hook pattern is virtually always used in practical application because it’s the safest initial route for this play, as it positions the initial receiver with his back to the defense to best protect the ball. But theoretically the hook-and-ladder movement could derive from an initial crossing or post pattern.

As a final piece of evidence, I have never in my entire life heard of a fire station anywhere on this planet with a “hook-and-lateral” truck, so that’s just stupid. Just because there are high school coaches out there with intellects so blunted they have to bastardize the phrase to fit the few meager things they can understand doesn't mean the rest of us should.

I know this shouldn’t bother me this much. But some of you who know me well (or just anyone reading this entry) know that I fancy myself a bit of a wordsmith. So please, just indulge me and refer to this play rightfully as the “hook and ladder” so that I won’t have to put my head through a sausage grinder. Your consideration is greatly appreciated.