Lloyd Carr, We Hardly Deigned To Know Ye

Are there actually Michigan alums out there who are pretending to be sad to see Lloyd Carr go?

Don’t get me wrong; they should be. The guy won a national championship, fer cryin’ out loud. But for the fans to have us believe they feel bad about Carr resigning is laughable. Wolverine Nation’s relationship with this guy was always tepid at best.

Now, I personally don’t care one way or another what happens to Carr, but when I look at the numbers I’m pretty sure Michigan just doesn’t know how to appreciate what it has.

In 13 years at Michigan, Carr (121-40 overall, 81-23 Big Ten) never once had a losing season; he won five Big Ten titles, including two outright titles; he won 10 or more games six times; and he lost four or more games only five times.

Now let’s take a peek at the stats for Hayden Fry and Barry Alvarez, who were beloved at Iowa and worshiped at Wisconsin, respectively. Fry (143-89-6, 96-61-5), in 20 years at Iowa, had five losing seasons; won three Big Ten titles, one of them outright; won 10 games only twice; and lost four or more games (the apparent benchmark of failure at Michigan) 14 times. Alvarez (118-73-4, 65-60-3), in 16 years, had five losing seasons; won three Big Ten titles, one of them outright; won 10 or more games four times; and lost four or more games 10 times.

For these bodies of work, Alvarez got a statue in Madison. Fry got a freaking sitcom loosely based on him. Yet Carr, with far superior numbers, got the shaft because Michigan fans have always wanted more.

Granted, Fry and Alvarez took over losing programs and naturally would be allowed some early failure. But each was forgiven descents into mediocrity after establishing winning programs, because of their successes, which were nowhere near the level of Carr’s. And the Michigan fan base kept holding him to a higher standard year after year.

Truth be told, Carr was on thin ice right from his introductory press conference, when he joked about getting rid of those ridiculous helmets and the humorless alums got their meticulously ironed undies in a bunch.

There was a brief honeymoon when he won the Associated Press national title in 1997, but it lasted about as long as a Britney Spears marriage. When he eventually struggled against arch-nemesis Ohio State, going 1-6 the last seven years and losing the last four games in a row (which, incidentally, got progressively more hilarious each year), the fans got antsy, no matter what they claim now that he’s gone.

So the arrogant Michigan fans think they have a birthright to a Big Ten title, a win over Ohio State and a shot at the national title every single year, and they demand as much from their coach, and when he resigns after failing to live up to those unrealistic standards the obnoxious hypocrites pretend they’re sorry to see him go. Where do I begin explaining why everyone hates Michigan so much?

My contempt may be short-lived, though, as Michigan has failed to learn from a lesson that played out just down the road in South Bend. In 1996, fans at fellow powerhouse Notre Dame were growing weary of a coach who had won a national championship less than 10 years previously, and Lou Holtz announced his retirement. That program has been auguring its way into irrelevance ever since.

Here’s hoping Michigan will find out the hard way just how good Lloyd Carr really was.